This essay subject was seen in a latest IELTS check in India.
These days, extra individuals transfer away from their buddies and households for work. Does this improvement have extra benefits or disadvantages?
Pattern Band 8 Essay
In recent times, an growing variety of individuals have chosen to relocate away from their buddies and households for employment alternatives. Pushed by globalisation and the pursuit of profession development, the choice to maneuver away has a excessive potential for skilled development, a profit that usually comes on the expense of household ties. I consider that on stability, some great benefits of such a transfer outweigh the disadvantages.
One of many major points of interest of relocating for work is the potential for profession development. Main cities in a single’s personal nation and overseas usually provide a wealth of job alternatives, higher salaries, and an opportunity to work with main corporations. For instance, a software program engineer shifting from a small city to a tech hub like Silicon Valley would possibly acquire entry to cutting-edge initiatives and substantial profession development. This enhanced skilled panorama can result in higher job satisfaction and long-term monetary stability. One other optimistic side of dwelling in a brand new metropolis or nation is the publicity to numerous cultures, concepts, and existence, selling private development and flexibility. Shifting away can domesticate a way of independence and resilience, as being in a brand new surroundings challenges people to change into extra self-reliant and resourceful.
Nonetheless, such relocations are more likely to trigger a pressure on private relationships, as bodily distance makes it troublesome to keep up shut ties with household and buddies. This separation may end up in emotions of loneliness and homesickness, affecting one’s psychological well-being. For instance, an expatriate dwelling removed from dwelling would possibly miss vital household occasions, resulting in a way of isolation and disconnection. The absence of a neighborhood assist community can exacerbate emotions of stress and anxiousness, notably in instances of private or skilled disaster.
In conclusion, whereas shifting away from family and friends for work includes some sacrifices, notably in sustaining private relationships, I discover the benefits associated to profession development, private development, and independence extra compelling.
Instructor’s remark:
This can be a good instance of a Band 8 essay.
Job Response: Band 8
Your essay successfully addresses the duty immediate by discussing each the benefits and downsides of relocating for work. It presents a transparent introduction, discusses the benefits in a single paragraph and the disadvantages within the subsequent, and concludes with a balanced viewpoint. Your private opinion is clearly said and well-supported all through the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The construction of your essay is obvious, utilizing paragraphs appropriately for the introduction, benefits, disadvantages, and conclusion. Inside paragraphs, concepts are logically developed, and applicable linking phrases and phrases are used to attach sentences and concepts. This helps create a easy circulation of knowledge all through the essay, making it straightforward to comply with.
Lexical Useful resource: Band 8
You’ve demonstrated a robust vary of vocabulary. There have been no important points with phrase selection or repetition. Effectively completed for utilizing phrases corresponding to:
“relocate” – to explain the act of shifting to a brand new place for work
“globalization” – to debate the broader context of why individuals transfer for work
“self-reliant” and “resourceful” – to focus on the private development side
“exacerbate” – to explain the intensifying of emotions of stress and anxiousness
Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: Band 8
Total, the essay exhibits sturdy grammatical management. A wide range of sentence constructions is used successfully. There are solely minor grammatical errors, corresponding to slight article or preposition misuse – for instance, making certain right article utilization corresponding to “the improved skilled panorama” somewhat than “this enhanced skilled panorama.” This doesn’t detract from the general readability and readability of the essay.
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